DIVORCE: A CROSS OUR GENERATION MUST BEAR?

Hello everyone, I hope your week has been fruitful and blessed so far. My week hasn't been anything much but I'm happy and grateful for the way things have played out so far.



I would like to discuss the issue of divorce, separation and single parenting. I will use hollywood as my case study in this piece because it would afford me a chance to make practical examples.



The news of Seal and Heidi's pending divorce must have grown stale to our ears by now, although a few people are yet to recover from the shock. Seal and Heidi were one couple who looked like they were determined to make their marriage work at all cost. Its sad and somewhat strange for me to understand what might have really caused them to grow apart as they explained in the statement they released concerning the issue. My friend Myne Whitman who is a seasoned romance fiction writer and expert on relationships posted about the issue, highlighting some reason why many couples grow apart. (Here's the link to the post for those who would like to read: http://bit.ly/yuCIrW )

For a long time now, I have constantly wondered why the percentage of broken marriages have risen to incredible heights in recent times, especially in hollywood. With cases like Marc Anthony and Jenifer Lopez, Brad Pitt and Jenifer Aniston, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore as well as the very controversial Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian, the rest of us are left to wonder if there is really any hope for marriages in hollywood and the world in general. You hear more stories of cheating spouses,irresponsible parents, fighting couples and a host of others. Marriage has grown to become a war zone to many.

We forget or take lightly the fact that the real people affected by these broken relationships are the children. Many of us aren't willing to tolerate our partners as there's lack of forgiveness and tolerance in many relationships these days. People keep searching for the perfect spouses without trying to make themselves perfect enough for that perfect person. Many of us also expect that our relationships would stay rosy forever and we forget that every relationship has its sour points. Even among our family and friends, there are times when our relationship with them hits the down road but after some time it heads back uphill.



There is no doubt however that some relationships and marriages are very sour and cause a lot of hurt for those in the relationships. As much as in some marriages divorce is the only probable solution, there are a few others where seeking help through counselling from a spiritual director or psychologist, mediation and other forms of dispute settlement would help get the marriage back on track. For a few, giving each other some time apart, a romantic outing and some other spontaneous acts might be all you need to get things back on track . Certain problems in relationships do not deserve abrupt termination of the relationship.

I'm worried about the children of the next generation. How they would grow up to interpret these things, what kind of advice we would be able to offer them when they need relationship advice, and all what not. I'm worried that our children may not really understand the principles of tolerance, persistence, faith and sacrifice. I worry that many of them would grow to be so confused. My worries might be wrong anyway but they are still my worries.



With all these said, I urge us all to try to make our choices more carefully. Our lives are definitely ours to live any way we want but every decision we make doesn't only affect us. Those around us have a cross or a crown to reap out of it as well.