For my brother and brothers

Jason did not return that night. Two weeks passed, and even as you all hoped he would, he still didn't. You searched every where you could- hospitals, police stations, friends' houses and even moutuaries. You did not give up.

Some one told your mother she had seen him somewhere in Lagos roaming the streets. You thought she was just blabbing and her information lacked facts. You ignored her yet you prayed and kept on hoping. A large part of you believed he was alive, but your feelings betrayed you because they could not tell you where he was.

Your mother cried everytime and this pissed you off. You wanted her to just shut up! You were tired of holding back your tears to comfort her. You go bored with giving her hope, you were tired of acting up strong for her.

That day she looked at you and said, 'you are all I have now Ekene.' you cursed Jason for leaving you alone and making your parents sad. You cursed that day he left home and what ever had happened to him. You cursed and cursed till you had no more curses to curse.

As hard as you tried to fight it, you knew missed him very much. No matter how much you tried to peel that feeling away, it was still stuck hard to you. Forgetting him was the hardest thing for you.

Your mother's desparation to find Jason was begining to tear her apart. She got so depressed and bitter that she shouted at you for every mistake you made. Her eyes became permanently red and swollen and her mood swings got worse.

Some how you were happy. Your happiness was because of the closeness that begun to exist between you and your father since Jason went missing. You both joked and laughed about things you saw or talked about. You tried to forget the sorrow that tore your hearts apart. Although you both missed Jason, you did not talk about it. You were afraid that any pessimistic word you say would jinx him never to return again. You kept your words away.

Time went by a little and you got used to his absence. While your parents and everyone resolved that he was dead, you fought hard to keep your hope alive. You were sure he was alive.

One day they found a body somewhere around Cele. The body laid still and lifeless like a corpse. Everyone overlooked it and went about thier business. They left the body to rot away. Shola ran to your house that morning and said she had news for you. 'I saw jason's body at Cele' she said. Her words struck you like a heavy blow which left its welt in your brain. You told your parents and in a short while, you were all at Cele. Hot tears slid down your face when you saw his body. You threw away all the hope you had kept right there because you thought he was dead. A mental video of his burial played in your head. You were sure you would die after it. You could not bear the pain of the loss. You stood aside and cried out all the 'cries' you had. You lost all your faith and your heart was crushed.

You were shocked when you heard someone exclaim, 'Thank God he is alive!'. You could not believe your ears, but you did any way. Your hope was not in vain after all. You were all happy about this. Jasom came back into your lives, and you swore that this time you would never loose him again.
-Chizitere.