Saturday, August 18, 2012


The world and many things are changing. Some for the bad, some for the good, others for the neutral. Many ideas and norms that were the status quo when I was a child have been shuffled around and assumed new meanings.

I remember when as a child, my friends and I used to argue about the true meaning of the word "boyfriend". While some argued that boyfriend referred to a boy/guy/male who is you friend, others argued that boyfriend meant a boy you were sleeping with and a host of other theories. The topic always stirred heated arguments but the general idea was that "the boyfriend" tag was used only on boys, small boys.

Growing up, I looked forward to the period when I didn't have to worry about being any person's girlfriend or any guy being my boyfriend. The period when I had finally come of age and out grown any relationship that left me and him on that boyfriend/girlfriend level. I actually believed it was something we all naturally outgrew.

Weirdly, the idea seems to have changed these days. I see 40 year old women still dating men they call their boyfriends, married men/women still keeping boyfriends/girlfriends and no one seems to be out growing "the tag". People even prefer to stay in relationships as boyfriends/girlfriends for 18-25years rather than get married and make it all official/legal. Most of these relationships then get blessed with lovely children who grow up hearing their parents refer to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend. What then happens when one of the children is ready to get married and finds a partner? Do they stay boyfriend/girlfriend and wait for their parents to out grow the tag? Or do they upgrade to husband/wife and leave their parents behind?

Full grown men seem to have become comfortable being referred to with the word "BOY-friend". Some might say that the reason they stay in these relationships is because they want to get to understand each other or because the want to save their selves and their children the heartache of going through a messy divorce. Then I ask, isn't a divorce as bad as a break-up? Isn't it the same split and disperse that people experience after a divorce that they experience in break ups? Does living together as boyfriend/girlfriend, having kids and doing everything married people do make it easier to deal with the end of the relationship?

The truth is, I'm confused and I feel like I've lost track of the world and the meaning of things. Which is why I ask you my dear readers, "WHEN DOES HE LOOSE THE BOYFRIEND TAG?"


  1. This goes out to Kourtney Kardashian and her boyfriend/father of her 2 kids , P.diddy and his girl friend/mother of his 27 year old son and all the rest of y'all who find it funny to shoot out babies, live with and die with your boyfriends and won't just agree to let him takeover your surname. Kudos.

  2. its a eat your cake and have it scenario... all the benefits of marriage with the added advantage of still feeling cool and still legally allowed to meet other girls.
    sweetie, its a mind thing based on maturity.

  3. While it'll be naïve of anyone to still think 'boyfriend' is just a term used for male acquaintances,i've never liked the term...I also strongly detest the "live-in lovers" act (as they are called) whether they be young or old, not only is it quite foolish and cowardly but against biblical thanks to our Hollywood and extreme feminist 'role models'...personally,its either you're casual friends or dating with marriage in mind,and as for the excuse of wanting to know each other better,I don't know about Y'all but I've got friends who know me so much its almost annoying, so thats out!

  4. I think there is less drama when its not "marriage".
    By the way, I didn't know you and your friends knew what "sleeping with someone" meant as a child.looool

  5. Nice thought. I think every "boy" wants to be a boyfriend of some sort. It comes with its privileges (if you catch my drift). Do you ask when she looses the "baby" tag? Now that's worse (relatively speaking).

  6. hmmmmmm.......

  7. My family members always say that I am wasting my time
    here at net, however I know I am getting familiarity all
    the time by reading such good posts.
    Also visit my site : apartments for rent


Thank you for reading. I'd love to know what you think about this post. Your comments encourage me to do better.