Saturday, August 18, 2012
WHEN DOES HE LOOSE THE "BOYFRIEND" TAG?
The world and many things are changing. Some for the bad, some for the good, others for the neutral. Many ideas and norms that were the status quo when I was a child have been shuffled around and assumed new meanings.
I remember when as a child, my friends and I used to argue about the true meaning of the word "boyfriend". While some argued that boyfriend referred to a boy/guy/male who is you friend, others argued that boyfriend meant a boy you were sleeping with and a host of other theories. The topic always stirred heated arguments but the general idea was that "the boyfriend" tag was used only on boys, small boys.
Growing up, I looked forward to the period when I didn't have to worry about being any person's girlfriend or any guy being my boyfriend. The period when I had finally come of age and out grown any relationship that left me and him on that boyfriend/girlfriend level. I actually believed it was something we all naturally outgrew.
Weirdly, the idea seems to have changed these days. I see 40 year old women still dating men they call their boyfriends, married men/women still keeping boyfriends/girlfriends and no one seems to be out growing "the tag". People even prefer to stay in relationships as boyfriends/girlfriends for 18-25years rather than get married and make it all official/legal. Most of these relationships then get blessed with lovely children who grow up hearing their parents refer to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend. What then happens when one of the children is ready to get married and finds a partner? Do they stay boyfriend/girlfriend and wait for their parents to out grow the tag? Or do they upgrade to husband/wife and leave their parents behind?
Full grown men seem to have become comfortable being referred to with the word "BOY-friend". Some might say that the reason they stay in these relationships is because they want to get to understand each other or because the want to save their selves and their children the heartache of going through a messy divorce. Then I ask, isn't a divorce as bad as a break-up? Isn't it the same split and disperse that people experience after a divorce that they experience in break ups? Does living together as boyfriend/girlfriend, having kids and doing everything married people do make it easier to deal with the end of the relationship?
The truth is, I'm confused and I feel like I've lost track of the world and the meaning of things. Which is why I ask you my dear readers, "WHEN DOES HE LOOSE THE BOYFRIEND TAG?"