Me, Yesterday. Me, Now.

Am I lazy or are these excuses real? My debut novel is in the making and I swing in and out of moods to write it. I have two titles alraedy, and three stories under both of them. That means i have six stories right? Am i confused or is this how it is for every writer with their first book?
Well I met someone very wonderfull today and she honstly dug herself a space in my heart. Her name is Vani, she is an Indian woman, and i got to meet her through my friend Onyeka who is a real sweetheart (when he is).
Though i was lost in most of their conversations, I was sure initiated deeply into the few i caught. There was so much to say and laugh about that at that point, I wanted it to never end. Yeah like peter in the bible, i was ready to set not three tents this time, but four to make sure everyone was well accomodated.
My most cherished moment arrived when it was time to eat, oh how I love to eat! (but don't call me 'foodious'). I ate everything I have never eaten before. It was my first time at an Indian's, and so it was for the food. At table, we talked a lot about books and writers with plenty reference to Indian (at this point i was completly lost) and Nigerian writers( for these ones, i had something to say).
The entire afternoon to evening swept away in time, while our consciousness was swallowed by our gist. Apart from books, we talked about everything human beings could talk about and there was never a dull moment. Am glad I was able to go and finally, I met Vani who I will never forget. Thank you Onyeka for making me meet her...
Now back to the top: Is there any advice i can get?
I really don't understand. Helppp!!!

Hoping For The Beat

Violence has devastated the world. It is funny that the world still adorns it. Stop taking hope and happiness away. I wrote a poem below about war. I hope you understand it.(Composed on the 2nd day of july 2009 by 1:28 am)


My heart just beat again...
Oh no it didn't but how come
I breath?

Black is red now, yes blood
has taken over.
Or is it not blood that i see?

Streets are full of streams
Streams not of water, but of
Blood and tears.

How can my heart not beat,
When panic overwhelms my
'entireness'.

Oh I still speak of me,
And forget you who lie stylishly
On black, now red.

You have been dumped in your
Own blood.
How heartless!

I want to carry you home now
But I can't because my feet cannot
Stop running.

I hear a heartbeat now.
Could it be yours?
Am far away from you now
But i hear your heart beat in my ears.

A bullet just caught Lalah.
Another heartbeat is lost.
How long can I hold mine?
How long will it beat?

Can i still hope, with all these bullets
Stopping our hearts?
I hope still... Still i hope...